“… every day is a journey, and the journey itself is home.”
— Matsuo Basho, Narrow Road to the Interior (trans. Sam Hamill)
“True love is when you’re standing in line for Chipotle, and you say, “I shouldn’t get guacamole,” and the great love of your life says, “You know what, just get the guac.” And then you go home, and you watch TV together while eating burritos. That’s true love.”
— John Green (via inthewateriambeautiful-)
“The ground we stand on looks solid enough, but if something happens it can drop right out from under you. And once that happens, you’ve had it: things will never be the same. All you can do is go on living alone down there in the darkness.”
— Haruki Murakami - After Dark (via murakamistuff)
(via murakamistuff)
“I’ve changed so much as a person since I’ve met Ellen. I used to think that the way to be strong was to be tough. I used to think that to be independent was to not need anyone. She’s taught me that the more vulnerable you are, and the softer you are, and the more you allow people into your life, and into your heart, the happier you are, and the more valuable you are to other people. Ellen has completely changed the way I look at life. She’s made me not worry about what other people think. I mean I’m still working on that, I have to be honest. But she’s taught me that who I am is perfectly good enough, and that I don’t have to pretend to be anything other than who I am. And that’s been the most incredible gift that she’s given me, that anyone could give to anybody that they love”
forever reblog
(via pinkeezy)
let it just subside
insomnia
i brought up the topic of him today with mum for no apparent reason but just that i want to tell her that i’m happy with him and i see the many goods and greats in him that i don’t see in other boys in my circles how he differentiates himself in the simplest ways how he is slowly winning my heart over and that i’m convinced of all the legitimacy in this i didn’t want to persuade her of anything but just for her to know what’s on my mind and share my joy in finding someone like this who treats me right and i believe will treat me right she didn’t seem to think much of it but that time will tell i hate how realistic it all is in the end and i am never placed in an environment where i can dream and be happy in the moment i am always forced to look ahead with telescopic eyes imo it’s fucked and it really fucks you up your outlook on life and all the tiny miniscure things are magnified till it infiltrates your brain and bloodstreams and into your heart i feel like this dirty black blob right now brooding brooding of distrust and insecurity and fear i can’t get rid of that feeling it’s somehow at an unknown time and place grabbed onto my heart and grew its roots tightly and it’s expanding fast very fast that twisted feeling i get that sucked up feeling as if i’m losing control i am losing control of how i feel and what i think it’s blurring and all that is not leaving my system the way i want it to
cried the third time within the past 24 hours and i can’t help but think that the big D has made its evil return i feel so washed out and empty as though everything i’ve built for myself in the past 3 years was pretense and theatre nothing else but a grand show with pretty curtains to mask what is looming backstage all that brilliance is now replaced by cancer cells one at a time and it’s unstoppable (or is it) i don’t know i just feel lost the whole world has turned its back on me leaving me to think that nothing will matter anymore be stuck with this feeling you pathetic one i need to find my feet again and anchor myself to find an outlet to be healed and revive the vibrancy i gathered over the past 3 years alone don’t let your darkness be infectious don’t let it spread restrain it control it it will subside it needs to subside flush it out and find what you want again
this is no self pity it’s but one which is much needed at this threshold point where i feel all that is important is to put a leash around the invasion of malignancy aren’t we all but evil beings filled with sick screwed up thoughts that in order to conform and survive in today’s world a control blanket is required to cast upon all that hysteria and craze i am only human yet at times i feel like i don’t do a human being justice as i exude undesired qualities of the many
sometimes i forget it’s all interaction and i am not alone in my world and i need to keep watch and stay put who am i to think that i am different and should enjoy privileges that many don’t have but is peace of mind so much to ask does tranquility and simplicity have to be so hard to find i am but a mere other human being on earth- among many whom seek inner peace and a moment of blank
i care about way too much of which i can ever fathom so why should i let it whirl in my head and infiltrate my system like this none of them has any rights to and surely i have not given them a free pass if the preventative did not work then work on the present and fix it
keep calm and carry on really keep your cool (or what coolness you have left intact in you)
Kirsten Dunst - Vogue Germany by Bruce Weber, October 2009
